Keep The Flies Off Of The Cake
© by Deborah B Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

Great grandpa was a cowboy, took great grandma for his wife
For fifty years you know they led a happy life
And they were celebratin’ with folks from far and near
All come to the ranch to toast the couple with good cheer
 
And the garden was a bustin’ out with all the flowers in bloom The kitchen was a jumpin’ serving tasty barbecue
Old Joe Was an old cow hand, wanted to help out
Great grandpa took a look around then said, well, Joe, here’s how
 
CHORUS
Keep the flies off of the cake
This is a special party, make no mistake
We don’t want those nasty bugs down in our insides Just keep the flies off the cake and all will be all right

Now Old Joe was a bit perplexed, not sure what to do
‘Cause waving both his arms around he felt like a fool
But a swatter would be messy as far as he could see
That’s when he turned around and grabbed the can of DDT

CHORUS
Keep the flies off of the cake
This is a special party, make no mistake
We don’t want those nasty bugs down in our insides Just keep the flies off the cake and all will be all right
 
BRIDGE
Today we know things we didn’t know back then
DDT kills birds and makes chromosomes bend
Everybody ate the cake, no one thought it funny
Not my aunts & uncles nor my then teen-aged mommy
 
The years flew by, and I was born, and I turned out OK  But I still have some questions about my DNA
‘Cause instead of being a doctor, lawyer, judge, or statistician.
I turned out to be a mutant freaky folk musician.

CHORUS
Keep the flies off of the cake
This is a special party, make no mistake
We don’t want those nasty bugs down in our insides Just keep the flies off the cake and all will be all right
 
(Yodel-lay-hee-hoo….)

Tesla Trip
© by Deborah B Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

Out here driving-in-my-Tesla middle-of-nowhere all alone
Northwest in the rear-view mirror, headed to the Southeast on my own
Long out of my comfort zone
And I’ve 1300 miles left to go
 
Oh no, gotta go, badly, Oklahoma truck stop here I am 
Thirteen truckers staring at me from up inside their cabs 
My throat is dry, my face is red
When a trucker climbs on down and says
 
CHORUS 1
“Would you like a cup of coffee? Is that your car?
I hear they’re all electric, you’ve driven far
Where do you plug it in, I’d love to know
Well, thank you for the show and tell, you’re mighty  kind 
You’ve cleared a lot questions up in my mind
Safe travels to you now there out on the road!”
 
“Sweet Home Alabama” is what it says on the state sign
Three motorcycles in their leathers pulling up along my ide 
My heart is Jell-O in my mouth
Is this the hospitality of the deep south?
 
CHORUS 2
“Why, hello, our names are Kathy, Sue, and Tammy,
We’re on a motorcycle trip from Nashville to Miami 
Is that car your Tesla, it’s mighty cool!
You say you’re a musician, that’s mighty fine,
Would you like to have a picture here at the state line
Safe travels to you now there, out on the road”
 
Rest stop, Minnesota, I am sleeping in my back seat
Big man, beer-in-hand, is staring in the window right at me
My stomach’s knotted at my knees 
I sit up and try…to…breathe…

CHORUS 3
 
“Oh, my God, I didn’t see you! I didn’t mean to scare you
Would you like a brew, I mean I really didn’t see you
Just never seen one these cars up close for real 
Well, thank you for the info-I gotta go go
It’s a long drive back to Ohio
Safe travels to you out there now, out on the road”

 
 Heart of the Earth
© by Deborah B Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

11:58, the hands read on the clock
Stunned into attention, there’s no more room for talk
Her fever is rising, she’s tired and worn down
They say there’s little hope and time is running out
 
I should have seen she was sick, I should have seen the clues
Her breathing so belabored, her body scarred and bruised
But I was too damn busy, wrapped up in my own life  The truth is inconvenient, we run from it and hide
 
The heart of the earth beats harder each day  Every breath that she takes, she’s wasting away
From the illness in her rivers, the garbage in her seas  My Mother Earth  is dying because of me
 
If I could only take back every foolish thing I did  All those plastic straws, the gallons used, a million coffee lids  Seduced by convenience, I cut her with these knives  Environmental damage causing Gaia’s ecocide

The heart of the earth beats harder each day 
Every breath that she takes, she’s wasting away
From the sickness in her soil, the burning in her trees  My Mother Earth is dying because of me

Bad habits are hard to break, but this I must do  ‘Cause Business as usual won’t see my mother through
 Time to harness the wind and solar energy
Learn to love and care for her and live in harmony

So that the heart of the earth beats stronger each day  Every breath that she takes gives life every day
The hour is upon me, I must mend my ways  To heal Mother Earth the future starts today

The heart of the earth beats harder each day  Every breath that she takes, she’s wasting away  Yes, the hour is upon us, we can mend our ways  To heal Mother Earth the future starts today

La Violetta © 2022 Deborah B. Seymour & Kelly A. Armantage debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

La Violetta strolls down the lane That’s what the locals call her, but they don’t know her name She dazzles in a rainbow shawl, blond hair down her back Streaked with dreams, purple strings, and chocolate tracks 
She lays down the cards, are you ready, one…two…three… Who of you wants to see your future, come to me Her fingers start to fumble as her heart flips and jumps It’s the man with the moon in his eyes who steps right up    and he says
                   
 CHORUS 1
It’s a lonely life, Violetta, why do you roam
 What are you running from, where is your home Don’t you feel raw and worn, traveling from place to place
When will you stop and taste a drop of life’s sweet grace
 
She said you don’t know my story, he said but I think I do
What gives you the right? He said I was once like you
I wandered through the world, trying to numb the pain
But every place I went it just was more of the same
 
CHORUS 2     Until they said it’s a lonely life, my son, why do you roam
What are you running from, where is your home
 Don’t you feel raw and worn, traveling from place to place
 When will you stop and taste a drop of life’s sweet grace

BRIDGE: 
 She said OK, cut the deck and I’ll draw a card
 I will follow where it leads, no matter how hard  He leaned in as she made the pull   And when she saw the ace of hearts, her eyes and tears were full
 
CHORUS 3     No more lonely life, Violetta, no need to roam
You can stop your running, I think you’ve found a home
No more feeling raw and worn, you’ve found your place
Here you stop and taste a drop of life’s sweet grace

The Wallows
© by Deborah B Seymour & Todd L Lawrence
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331
  Life was cruising on easy street when your wheel of fortune got stuck
You thought it was just a glitch, a hitch in your good luck
But then down came the avalanche and all the pain that follows
Next thing you know they’ve laid you low deep down in the wallows
 
Who said life was supposed to be fair, God laughs every time you plan
You had your future all mapped out, the lines drawn spic & span But times got tough, they coiled you up like a snake before it swallows
And the cruel, cruel joke is you’ve begun to choke face down in the wallows

CHORUS 1 So, welcome bud into the tar and the mud, I suppose it all seems grim
Being stuck in the holy muck maybe you’d best learn to swim
But when you think about the journey out some part of you just hollows
So, you acquiesce to your own distress neck-deep in the wallows

Depression and discomfort, they’re now your closest friends
That melancholy baby has got you up on end
But misery loves company, you’re now flesh and bone
When you’re in the wallows, baby, you’re never quite alone
 
CHORUS 2  So welcome bud into the tar and the mud, well, I suppose it all seems grim
Being stuck in the holy muck, maybe you’d best learn to swim
 But all your fears, they’re muscled up and flexing like Apollo’s
You feel so small, you toss it all to the mercy of the wallows
 
BRIDGE The wallows are addictive primed to keep you pinned
The could-haves and the should-haves leave you twisting in the wind
But faith leaves a golden thread in the darkest pit
It’s your call to rise or fall, what will you make of it
 
CHORUS 3 So welcome friend, to the bitter end, tell me what’s it gonna be
Will you walk that first hard mile or drown in misery
It’s the same for everyone everywhere from Seattle to Sao Paulo
No soul’s alive too big to dive into the deep end of the wallows

Sometimes You Gotta Wear Boots © by Deborah B. Seymour debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331
 
Some days the road is easy, all you need are walking shoes Other days you negotiate in heels and a business suit Other days are breezy, only bare toes will do But when your heart gets broke, you gotta wear boots
CHORUS  You gotta wear boots, time to saddle up your courage Boots, feet down in the stirrups  Boots to drive the heartache out of town  Boots, wrangle up all your sorrows Boots ride on past tomorrow Sometimes you gotta wear boots

Some days you’re jumping in your Converse with good news Other days so sad, only slippers see you through  Still other days you’re out there waltzing in your hi-brow dancing shoes But when your heart gets broke, you gotta wear boots

BRIDGE:
And all your worries and your cares Walk out of the door with the right footwear

Trying To Write A Love Song
© Deborah B Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331
 
I’m trying to write a love song with pretty words but instead I’m doing dishes
It’s hard to feel romantic when you’re scraping last night’s spinach
Off the silverware
And the cat needs to be fed and I’m running late again
I guess this song will have to wait until later on today
 
I’m trying to write a love song with Cupid’s bows, instead I’m doing taxes. It’s hard to wax poetic when the income and the outflow columns  Don’t stack right again
And The laundry needs folding between write-offs and withholding
Guess this song will have to wait for a later date
 
CHORUS:
The day-to-days will get you, keep you from your heart
And the things you want to do, the words you want to say
I’m full of such love for you, I want to write it down
 But life rushes in the door with another delay
 
Oh, I’m trying to write a love song with unicorns but instead I’m here in stitches
How can I fashion metaphor when you’ve got me in the clinches  Of your silly puns
I’ve become undone from laughing, I’m having too much fun to write
So, I’ve put the pen away, I’ll write another day
 
Still thinking about that love song, but when I look into your eyes so warm and wise
I realize you already know how much I love you
I can see it in your smile
And as you take my hand, it’s then I understand
That all along, I’ve had a love song, I wrote a love song

Morpheus’ Lament
 © Deborah B. Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

Oh, life is hard when you’re a kitty
Life is hard when you’re a cat
Just when you think you’re sitting pretty
They go and take away your lap
 
And as your heart is slowly breaking
Then they boot you out the door
Oh, life is hard when you’re a kitty
Life is hard when you’re a cat

Sing Easy & Slow
© Deborah B Seymour
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

Maybe it’s time to sing easy and slow
So the words that I speak will be ones that you know
Spinning my wheels makes me anxious and blue
It’s hard on me, it’s hard on you
 
Speaking so fast is from a childhood fear
If I didn’t speak quickly, they’d all disappear
Those grownups so busy with no time to hear
I had to lasso them with words
 
But maybe it’s time to sing easy and slow
Easy, easy, slow

Cleaning On A Boat
© by Deborah B. Seymour 
debseymourmusic.com / 833-503-1331

I am a cleaning woman, many houses I to keep
They send me out on many a job, my stalwart agency
But the latest place they’ve sent me is unusual I’d say
I’m cleaning for two live-aboards on a boat on Elliott Bay
The skipper and his missus are as kind as kind can be
They tell to clean how I want, but this they say to me       “You can’t use toxic chemicals, they’ll drain into the drink                          
That cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think!”
 
CHORUS:
All aboard… (all aboard!) All aboard… (all aboard!)
You can bring your mops and buckets, brooms and even an ironing board
But don’t use toxic chemicals, they’ll drain into the drink
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
 
 The kitchen’s now a “galley” and the bathrooms now a “head”
The bedrooms are called “cabins” with “bunks” instead of beds
Don’t mix up your vocab or they’ll make you walk the plink (“plink?” “What?”)
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
And then there is the dashboard, but here’s it’s called a bridge
With many a knob and dial that you’d better not mis-hit
Turn the wrong one on and o’er the side you’ll go ker-splish
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think            
 
CHORUS:
All aboard… (all aboard!) All aboard… (all aboard!)
You can bring your mops and buckets, brooms and even an ironing board
But don’t use toxic chemicals, they’ll drain into the drink
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
 
There’s miles of brass to polish, got to make it shine
And lots of wood to rub made of a grain so fine
Make sure the oil you use is teak, not the one of mink
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think  
Then there are the brownouts, they happen all the time
The microwave and dish machine don’t like to share the line
Don’t turn ‘em on all at once or they’ll all up and quit
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
 
CHORUS::
All aboard… (all aboard!) All aboard… (all aboard!)
You can bring your mops and buckets, brooms and even an ironing board
But don’t use toxic chemicals they’ll drain into the drink
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
 
I asked the skipper what the difference is between a boat and yacht
He said “a yacht makes its own ice, a pleasure boat does not”
Well, all I know my nose it knows mold anywhere it stinks
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think
You’ve scrubbed and dubbed, rubbed off your buns, it’s time to call it a day
When you hear the sound of a tug and barge on good old Elliot Bay… (Honk!)
One blow of the smokestack and the soot falls black as ink…(“Awwwah”!)
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think!       
 
CHORUS
All aboard… (all aboard!) All aboard… (all aboard!)
You can bring your mops and buckets, brooms and even an ironing board
But don’t use toxic chemicals they’ll drain into the drink
Oh, cleaning on a boat is not as easy as you think

 
THANK YOUS:

A million thanks to:
Alicia Healey, Country Dave Harmonson,
Kelly Paletta, Wes Weddell, Alex Guy,
Bradley Hawkins, Jason Edwards,
Chris Glansiter, Jan Elliott-Glanister & Dan Roberts
for their work on this album
.
A big bucket of gratitude to co-writers
Todd L. Lawrence (“The Wallows”)
and Kelly A. Armantage (“La Violetta”)

More warm fuzzies to : Grumpy D;s Open Mic, Couth Buzzard Books, C&P Coffee Company
Desert Southwest Open Mic, Delco Quarantine Open Mic,
Eagle’s Nest Revisited, North Reading Coffeehouse Open Mic, Orpington Liberal Club UK,
The Hearing Room,  Songwriters In Seattle, Arizona Live Music Cooperative, Tucson Folk Festival, 
Tumbleweed Folk Festival, One Broadway Collaborative,
Brett Perkins’Listening Room Songwriting Retreats and
all the folks at “Nachville” and Folk Alliance International who continue to lift me up.

Special shout outs to my “Brunch w/ Deb!” livestream regulars: your love and support helped make this album a reality. 
To Marhe Youch, Caroline Perkins, Kate Rock & Sarah Cobb: your support means everything. 
To my Ladies’s Zoom pals: your song feedback  and friendship are  precious.  
To Dave Williams tor his off-hand comment about wallowing that launched an entire song. 
Last, but not least, my deepest love to my husband, Jason Wood, who finally got a love song,
 and to our fractious feline, Morpheus, whose lament is finally getting quality airtime.

CREDITS

Produced & engineered by Alicia Healey at the Winterblue Room, Seattle, WA. 
Mastered by Rachel Field at Resonant Mastering, Seattle, WA. 
Photography, artwork & graphics by Deb Seymour
CD Duplication by discmakers.com

Alicia Healey plays bass and sings harmonies on all songs EXCEPT on“Morpheus’ Lament”. “Sing Easy & Slow”, “Trying to Write A Love Song”, and “Cleaning On A Boat”
She also plays lead guitar on “The Wallows” and did the drum design on “The Wallows” and “La Violetta”
Country Dave Harmonson plays electric and slide guitars on “Keep The Flies Off Of The Cake” and “Sometimes You Gotta Wear Boots”
Kelly Paletta plays drums on “Tesla Trip” and “Heart Of The Earth”
Wes Weddell plays lead electric guitar on “Heart Of The Earth”
Alex Guy plays violas on “Tesla Trip”
Bradley Hawkins plays cello on “Trying To Write A Love Song”
Jan Elliott-Glanister sings alto vocals and plays the Bodhran (Irish Drum) on “Cleaning On A Boat”
Chris Glanister sings tenor vocals on “Cleaning On A Boat”
Dan Roberts sings bass vocals on “Cleaning On A Boat”

All words & music Published & Copyrighted (p)(c) 2024 by Deborah B. Seymour / Herkimer Productions except 
“La Violetta”, Published & Copyrighted (p)(c) 2022 by Deborah B. Seymour /
Herkimer Productions & Kelly A. Armantage / Ouiseaustar Publishing and
 “The Wallows”, Published & Copyrighted  (p)(c)  2023 by Deborah B. Seymour / Herkimer Productions & Todd L. Lawrence / Binderville Publishing 

Additional music and merch available at debseymourmusic.com

This album is dedicated to all those who have ever felt stuck. There is always hope!